I feel trapped...
I know what I want to be doing in life and where I want to be, but i’m not there yet and it is absolutely frustrating. I want so badly to be “there” or to start heading “there” but it feels like I’m stuck “here”. No matter how many steps I take, I feel like I am in a dream where I’m trying to run but can’t move forward. I’m in some foreign land with a map and the map is showing me where I need to get to and how to get there but I can’t move, my feet are absorbed in quicksand. How am I supposed to take my first step? How do I make it past this barrier? I do not know...but this is what I do know.
I know that I have a family, friends and an amazing boyfriend who all support me.
I know that God has my back and He wants the best for me.
I know that I’m not perfect.
I know that I was given these passions for a reason and I want to do great things with them.
I know that if I want this, I am going to have to work incredibly hard for it.
I know that there will be times where I will feel like I’m not talented enough, or creative enough to keep going.
I know that this is something I want badly enough to not give up no matter what.
I know that there will always be somewhere in my circumstance where I can find joy.
It’s been over a month since I last posted on my blog and frankly it’s because i’m worried the ideas I have, the content I’m writing, the structure of it all, even the little things like my grammar, isn’t good enough...but HEY, you’re still here! Even if it’s just you mom and dad (hi!) at least someone is reading this. While my feet are stuck in quicksand, I will keep writing. I will keep posting. I will keep doing what I love until I find a way out of other situations.
In the meantime...keep finding your joy!